Weekly Reflections: Why It Matters, Why Thinking Matters More, and Why You Must Love Yourself First
Full text: 730 words, estimated reading time: 2 mins 30 secs.
There are only two ways to truly internalize knowledge:
Making mistakes (to discover what you don’t know)
Digesting then outputting (explaining it in your own words).
I’m documenting what I learn or recall each week in bullet points and summaries. This is to organize my thoughts and force myself to grow regularly. You’re welcome to join the conversation.
This week, you’ll get
“Why it matters“ , always matters
People who don’t think are more dangerous than fools
Love yourself before you love others (not in the way you might expect)
1. “Why it matters“ , always matters
A senior manager, age 40, dropped a list of ten tasks into the group chat: “Take these, split them up, finish in ten days.”
No background, no context.
When I asked for clarification, I got nothing.
Here’s what I felt:
Resistance
“Great, more extra work. Annoying.”
Anger
“This is disrespectful.
No explanation, no check on team resources, just a deadline.”
Calculation
“How long can I stall?
Who can I pass this to?
Maybe if I wait, she’ll forget?”
The result? Disappointment is guaranteed.
My time is already booked—there’s no room.
Zero motivation: this is just extra work.
No energy: I’m thinking about how to “get by,” not how to deliver.
Why is “why it matters” so important?
If your team doesn’t feel respected, if they don’t see the purpose, they’ll default to the minimum.
To get real buy-in, you have to:
Show respect—make sure people know they’re not expendable
Spark motivation—help them feel the goal, the excitement
Kill the “just get by” attitude—give meaning, not just tasks
That’s why, in all my communication (email, speech, even Jira tickets), I always:
Lead with the conclusion (what I need you to do)
Inject motivation (why this matters, because…)
Offer flexibility (push back if needed; you’re an equal, not a cog)
Provide FAQ (if you’re wondering X, here’s my take)
Some real examples:
Asking a colleague to organize information
Cross-team requests
Why it matters reveals everything.
“Why it matters” should be simple—a single, clear line with zero spin.
Anyone, regardless of background or skill, should be able to state their “why” directly.
If someone can’t—or won’t—explain it, usually:
They have a hidden agenda (personal motives, worries, or unspoken reasons)
They haven’t thought it through (don’t actually know what they want)
When you ask or articulate “why it matters,” you uncover:
What you truly want
The other person’s real objective
The core of the matter
My reflections
Always start with “why it matters,” then break down the details
Never just drop deadlines or pressure—this breeds passive resistance
Always treat people as equals, no matter the title or experience
Book recommendation: Smart Brevity The Power of Saying More with Less
2. People who don’t think are more dangerous than fools
Ever meet someone who talks and talks, but you have no idea what they:
Want to say
Are worried about
Actually need
These people:
Are ruled by emotions (see my section on “emotional freedom”)
Stay at the surface, never get to the root
Offload their confusion and emotional labor onto others—deadweight for any team
How to deal with them?
Ask directly: “What do you really need? What do we need to clarify?”
Watch for what’s unsaid: “Are you worried about X?”
Solve their problem first, then discuss: “Maybe we can improve our communication next time?”
P.S. If nothing changes over time, consider distancing yourself or neutralizing their impact.
My reflections
Before speaking, always chew on: “What am I really trying to say or ask?”
Never make others follow my scattered thoughts
Everyone should know how to “manage up”—if someone always needs managing, that’s a red flag
3. Love yourself before you love others
No, I’m not talking about “just mind your own business.”
On my gf’s recommendation, I read “The Eight Laws of Love.” The core idea: before you love others, you must:
Learn solitude, love yourself (know what you like and dislike)
Learn from your past (what wounds, failures, or repeating patterns do you carry?)
Define what love means to you (what do you care about, what does love look and feel like?)
With that self-awareness, then judge:
Is this person really right for you? (Are your ideas of love compatible? Can you help each other grow?)
Are you trapped by old wounds, using the same defenses even when you’re not in danger?
My own realization:
Because of past experiences, I always want to keep “everything in control”
If I can’t, I get anxious and try to control people or situations
But it’s rarely that serious or complicated—I need to learn trust and letting go
My reflections
When emotions run high, remind myself to pause
Notice where these feelings are coming from; ask, “Is this really that serious?”
Let reason lead, not just emotion
That’s what I’ve learned this week—if this helps you, all the better!
All images in this article were generated by Microsoft Copilot
All image prompts were created in collaboration with DIA Browser.